Shinymacage

Parenting, twins, life, work and worries.

Giving up the ghost

Posted by shinymac on March 8, 2010

Last Monday I turned my back on an old friend and started to literally breathe new life into my lungs.
I gave up smoking, and my goodness it’s been a slog, but manageable thanks to the glorious little plasters of nicotine that are seeing me through my days, and nights, and staving off the nasty cravings that plague me without them.
I did have a small lapse on Friday, but I’m back to it now, and determined more than ever before to not give up giving up.

In other news, I am still banging my head against a brick wall, but kind of in another sense, and I’m terrified that it’s going to end in tears, on my part. I am stupid stupid stupid sometimes, but sometimes your heart just takes over and rules everything, and that is exactly what is happening to me, and I just can’t stop it. If only my head had the willpower to overule everything else and make me sensible, and stop me from seeing perfection when in reality it doesn’t exist does it.

I can’t sleep, hence the rambling, and if all else fails, I’ll just blame the lack of smoking. Night.

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