Brand me, baby!

Dear Russell,

I am writing to tell you that you have been caught out. Tonight I have been watching you on a large screen, blatantly cavorting with other women, and I am most upset.

However, I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed watching you… you looked extremely bloomin gorgeous when straddling a surf board, and a chess piece. You even made chess look sexy, god damn, you talented individual.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well, let’s put it this way, I am glad it’s over between you two, and I am glad you are currently on your way back to England.

I’ll meet you at the airport in the morning, although I must confess, I am now betrothed to another myself.

Oh well, we can just have a cuddle, and I’ll join your love revolution.

Together we can change the world.

Yours,
Shinymacage x