Brighter

After the week from hell I experienced last week, things are starting to appear a little brighter.
Firstly, our Bureau has come 2nd in some competition, bagging us the prize of £250 to share. This means either a £20 voucher, or a night out. I think I’d rather go for the voucher, but I’m feeling kind of pressured into the night out option. Hmm… not sure what to do.

Secondly, my sister Kerry, who has been in hospital over the last couple of days, is now home, heavily pregnant and (hopefully or there’ll be trouble!) chilling out. She needs to keep on cooking the little bun so it’s primed and ready for the world, so fingers crossed all will be well there.

Thirdly, I ONLY HAVE 2 WEEKS LEFT AT WORK! This makes me so happy.

Fourthly, I ONLY HAVE 2 WEEkS UNTIL WE GO ON HOLIDAY! This too, makes me entirely happy.

FIFTHLY, as I am leaving my work before we go away, I have a lovely week off for when the kids start school before I start my new job.

So yes, things are brighter, and therefore I am smilier, happier, more positive and driving forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Changes

Being totally honest, I really have had the absolute week from Hell!
Work is being a complete bitch, and so are some of the workers in it, and I just can’t wait to leave.

Since I started this blog, I have often mentioned tales of getting to work and back at night, being a woman on my own, how threatened I have felt, how much I hate being carted about the store, and generally moaning about having to carry out this job.

Well, finally, finally, finally, there is a HUGE beam of light at the end of the tunnel, beckoning me forward to make steps back out into the daylight of the big wide world.

I HAVE JUST 3 WEEKS LEFT! 3 beautiful, glorious, smug weeks, which would obviously be even more beautiful and glorious if I didn’t have to work them.

And at the end of these 3 beautiful, glorious, smug weeks, a beautiful, glorious holiday for 1 week in the Venetian Riviera! And boy can I not wait!

I have also found the answer to my Mary Poppins issues. Well, at least I think I have. No, I haven’t found Mary Poppins herself, well not yet anyway, but I have found a brilliant before and after school and holiday club, which is literally around the corner held in a church hall.

So I rang them the other day and asked if I could pop in with the kids for a visit. They were out though - at Maize Maze, and I could hear all the kids squealing with joy and excitement on the bouncy castle in the background! Fantastic! The very nice lady said that when it’s nice, they just whisk them all out for the day. I want to be a kid again! I want to be whisked out for the day!
She said to just pop in anytime they’re there and she’ll provide me with all the forms and information I need. The fact that she was so accommodating and not bothered about making an official visit appointment really made me happy. So, hopefully, Alphabets will have two new little ones come September! Although how we’re going to pay for it that month (my first payday from my new job isn’t until 10th October - eeek!), is beyond me as we will have no wages in September from my side of things.

On Monday I have another interview, and I’m completely terrified for it. It’s for the NHS, and I know they’re pretty good with working parents, but my new employers have also been nothing but brilliant in terms of trying to find shifts that suit me, so I’m not even sure if I should stray from my 18th Floor job. We’ll have to see.

Meanwhile, Alex is still desperately seeking new employment, and I am just hoping that something turns up for him soon that he’s happy with.

It’s all change again, but it’s all change for the good.

A spoonful of shift work does not help any medicine go down!

I just have time to write quickly before I go and prepare myself for the usual trip to the Trafford Centre for work. Only now, it’s becoming easier, because I really do know there isn’t long left, and before long I’ll be sat up on my 18th floor office, overlooking the world, well Manchester anyway.

I am starting to worry slightly, and becoming obsessed with keeping my options open, and the reason? Well, it’s because the new job is shift work. Not drastic, no over nights or anything, but earliest start would be 8am, latest finish 8pm. Not bad. Not bad at all. IF YOU ARE CHILDLESS!

It’s causing me all kinds of stress and worry. Alex gets home for about 5.45 pm each night, the after school club ends at 5.45 each night, except a Friday when it ends at 5.30. I have precisely a 15 minute childcare problem! Furthermore, Alex is seeking a new job, one where he won’t know what hours he’ll be working, and I am about to embark on my new venture, also not knowing (yet) when I’ll be finishing at what times.

It’s all just too much!

I NEED MARY POPPINS!

Shrinking

As most of you probably know, much of the past few months has been spent preparing the kids for starting school in September.
If you didn’t know - where have you been? It’s practically all I’ve rambled on about in the last many posts, so WAKE UP! That’s probably the problem, it’s probably bored you all to tears. “So what?” you may be thinking. “Everyone (well, almost) goes to school at some point. Big deal.”

Well it is a big deal, to me. It’s all relative, and considering I LOVED school, I just want the same for my kids.
So, today, I have been uniform buying, and I decided I had to do it frantically right now, even though I don’t have the children with me to try things on, but the M&S 3 items for the price of 2 offer ends tomorrow, so I just had to rush. And this was absolutely perfect timing, because it was like retail therapy-by-proxy.

Alex packed the kids off to Hull this morning for his friend Robin’s 30th, but I had to stay here because it’s my friend Lisa’s 40th. So instead of sitting in the house all morning, moping and missing everyone, I indulged in the uniform buying, and also managed to bag myself a maxi-dress to wear tonight, and to take on holiday with me in the process.

This is a massive deal for me because we have totally been feeling the pinch over the last few months, and as someone who used to love keeping up with the latest styles and clothes, I have not been able to indulge in this for about the past year. I can’t even remember the last time I bought a new item of clothing for myself, and not only this, but as I’ve recently been losing weight like there’s no tomorrow, I had a size surprise! And of all the surprises in the world, size surprises are the best surprises!

I realised that my huge size 16 clothes were no longer fitting, so I opted for a size 14 in the maxi dress, and decided to just take it home to try on.
Well, I kid you not, the size 14 is TOO BIG! You don’t understand how very happy this is making me, yet also worried. What on earth am I going to wear on holiday this year? I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe! Yet I’m still smiling about it.

So very shortly, I am taking said maxi dress back to the shop for a beautiful size 12, and I simply can’t believe it! I don’t feel like I look like a size 12 yet, I still have a lot of weight to lose, but gosh, it is just the best feeling in the world. I had to share this with the internet, because I have no-one at home to share it with today, and it is too exciting to not talk about!

Let today be the start of many more size surprises!

All I want is a room with a view

First of all I feel I should apologise - I am so sorry I’ve been neglecting you all, and not writing anything, but you have to understand, I have been incredibly busy. Sounds pathetic coming from someone who has the whole day off to herself and only works 4 or 4 and a half hours on an evening, but I honestly have. And this is why…..

Not last weekend, but the one before, I received a phonecall from my aunt in Scotland, asking if her and her daughter, and her daughter’s friend could come and stay. Why of course! As you may know, visitors are always welcomed gratefully in my house. The kids love it, I love it, and well, Alex, bless him, doesn’t really have a choice! Ha!

So, the following day, me and the kids met them off their train, and traipsed back home.
Over the course of the following week, I struggled to come up with fresh ideas of where to take them. As my cousin and her friend are 15, I tried to think back to what I was like at that age (my life centred around the Youth Club, boys, my friends and school), and I found I just couldn’t translate that into the modern day equivalent. I ended up feeling so uncool, and old, and boring! It really hit me that I am 30.
Thankfully I managed to think of something that would please most girls of any age.

So we ended up shopping. Lots and lots of glorious shopping. Well, it would have been glorious, but I, unfortunately, ended up getting depressed and wishing I could afford to do more than window shop and gaze longingly at summer dresses and cute sandals, and beautiful bags. Being on a tight budget in order to afford a holiday will be worth it in the end though, so for now, I just have to grin and bear it.

Anyway, so yes, lots of (window) shopping, and then lots of tears when it was time for them to go home.

Then yesterday something happened which completely lifted my spirits and brightened my mood.
I got a phonecall to say I’d been offered a fantastic new job for a large company based on the 18th floor of a building in Manchester, with AMAZING views over the city. The money is great, the job looks great, and I am overjoyed! I just have a few childcare issues to sort out, but we’ll get there eventually.

Talking of childcare issues, today was the last day my kids had at nursery. I was so worried they would end up crying, but instead one of them decided to regress to her baby days by demanding a nap, then weeing herself whilst having said nap.
It made me realise something though; they’ve had a year at this nursery where they haven’t napped or weed themselves at all, so one little slip on their last day was maybe just a reminder of the massive journey they have both taken, and a last little wave goodbye to toddler-dom as they head towards the school gates.

Windy-pops

For a few weeks now I have felt like a baby. Not felt like eating one, or even making one, but actually felt as though I am one. In fact, I am still feeling this way. It hasn’t gone away, and it’s not because I scream or cry when my mummy’s not around, although it is sad that this is the case. It’s not that I demand bottles using my vocal chords, or even food, for if I am feeling hungry, I’ll sort myself out.
No, it’s nothing like that, but it is simply that I feel like I need winding!

All I want is for someone to put me on their knee and gently pat my back for a while.
You see, I have a lump in my throat, that feels like something is lodged there in a way, or like a trapped air bubble that won’t pop, and I just need a little bit of help to dis-lodge it, or pop it.

It’s making me burp uncontrollably, in an effort that the burp might force it to pop or dislodge, and it’s making me feel incredibly sick! It’s awful! I’ve never experienced this feeling before.

So last night, I asked Alex if he would wind me when we went to bed. Hardly the most enticing thing he’s been asked to do, I know, but I’m becoming desperate for a good wind! He promised he would, but because I’d had such a long day after not very much sleep the night before, I was falling asleep way before him, so went up to bed way earlier than him. He could hardly wind me while I was sleeping, for that would just freak me right out. So tonight, I will ask him once again if he’ll wind me, and give my back a good pat to see if I can break this lump or whatever it is.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow I will feel all grown up, and non-baby like once again.

After dinner sit a while, and after supper walk a mile.

Alex and I decided over the weekend that if we’re going to continue having guests over to stay, we need to put up some kind of instructions up for the bathroom, because for some reason, people find it difficult to deal with.

First of all, my poor mother almost knocked herself out by knocking off the shower screen!
Then this last weekend, Krista did the exact same thing, although the fact that she called it the shower “door” is probably the reason behind it. It’s not there to open, it’s just there to block, although even that doesn’t really happen, seeing as when Krista had a shower, it was dripping through the kitchen ceiling!

Aside from the bathroom falling apart, the weekend was lovely, and full of exquisite food and great company!
We met John and Krista at the train station, and headed straight to The Northern in the Northern Quarter for some dinner. Mmmm mmmm mmmm - deeeelicious, and HUGE portions! Even the kids had “Light Bites” but their plates were massive!

Then we headed to the Manchester Art Gallery for the Lauren Childs exhibition (Charlie and Lola, and The Princess and the Pea), which was lovely, and Marley and Evie loved it.

Once Alex had sorted Zoe’s birthday stuff, we then went to the Slug and Lettuce and had a nice cold drink, which felt so well deserved after all the traipsing across the city we had done.

Later at home, after Zoe, Alex’s sister had arrived, my belly was still so full from my huge dinner, yet Alex insisted on getting a takeaway, but I just couldn’t even stand the thought of eating anything else, so I passed.
Instead I had some toast, and some cigs, and I was quite happy with that, despite the aromas that filled the house, and the grateful noises of the curry-eaters. I did have a little bit of naan bread, dipped in some kind of biryani sauce just to stave off any desire for a full on curry.

We watched The Constant Gardener, which actually made me cry (the bit where the 4 year old little girl isn’t allowed on the plane! Gosh - I broke my heart!), and which I desperately need to watch again to get all of the little details, and headed off to bed late and a little merry from wine.

Sunday brought Zoe’s departure, and we lazed, looking at villas on the net, and old photos which caused amusement, then suddenly boredom too, so we called it a day. I decided that a Sunday roast would be a good idea, so Alex and I headed to Tesco with just one child in tow - Evie. Marley wanted to stay with John and Krista, and it felt so strange being a 1 child family for half an hour whilst we bought chicken and desserts.

I whipped up a right feast, and cared not about how much fat was involved, because as James Beard (American Chef) once said “A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.” and I did not want to be that tart! I hurt myself by eating far too much, but it was so delicious, and roast dinners have always been my favourite. I remember having suspected appendicitis at around 8 years old, and I was more gutted about not being able to eat a Sunday dinner than the pain. It was probably my kidney looking back on it now, but more of that another time!

Later that night, Alex begged me to do the nachos grande I’d promised, so I had to whip up a supper once the kids were in bed, and again, it was polished off and appreciated.

This time, we watched The Wind That Shakes The Barley, and I was surprised how brilliant it was.

So it tired me out really, but I did manage to squeeze in 3 runs (not cricket ones - but down the canal ones), so that makes me feel better about all the food we managed to consume!

Tidy House, Tidy Mind

Oh what a beautiful week I have had. Indeed.
To begin, I have had the whole lovely, delightful, glorious week off work, which is enough in itself, but furthermore, I have been able to put my beautiful babies to bed every night.

On top of this, yesterday, Alex used the last £10 of his birthday money (from MAY!) and decided to show his thoughtful side. He bought us the 2 dine for £10 deal from Marks and Spencer (£8 with his discount - whoopeeeeeee!), and he got us this gorgeous Spanish chicken main course, with a side of asparagus and brocolli in garlic, 2 chocolate puddings (the ones off the adverts!!!!!!!), AND a bottle of pinot grigot wine to swish it all down with.

I put the kids to bed early, and we had a romantic meal ON OUR OWN! It’s the first meal we’ve eaten together ALONE for about 5 years I think!!! And, it was delicious, and so romantic! I even lit a candle!

Today I have done a massive tidy up, starting with our bedroom, then the kids’ bedroom, then the bathroom, then the kitchen, and then the living room.
The whole house has had an overhaul, and it looks nice and shiny and clean and tidy, and I love my house all over again!

And because I started all of this really early this morning, we even had time for a visit to the park this afternoon, which was a good release for the kids who have discovered there is only so much you can do in a small yard (much of it includes water and throwing it at each other).

I’ve also spent much of the week in a dream about living in a villa (even if it is only going to be for a week next summer), but I have promised myself that while I am there, I am going to completely immerse myself in it and totally pretend it is my full time home. I CAN’T WAIT! But I need to stop obsessing about it and scanning the internet for the best villas I can find!

Tomorrow sees the arrival of John and Krista, who are coming over for 2 nights (YAY!). I love it when they come over, so I am really really looking forward to seeing them, plus it means we get to eat out for the first time in ages, cos it’s Krista’s birthday, so we have a good reason to spend money, although we really shouldn’t! Also, Alex’s sister Zoe is coming for 1 night (YAY!). Visitors are always received gladly in my abode (especially when it’s tidy!).

Right now I am watching Big Brother live, because they have put in 3 new housemates, and that equals compulsive viewing. One of them is annoying me already!

Homeys in the Holme Valley

The last weekend was spent in a beautiful place, on the edge of the peak district, surrounded by trees, a river, and ducks galore.

We went camping, 20 of us, and it was good fun, but I have to admit, I got a little stressed out.
Not with sleeping on the ground, for I am well accustomed to that practise. Not with living outside, as I love the fresh air on my face. Not with bugs or spiders, or even ducks, for I kind of just get on with it when surrounded by the forces of nature.
But I got stressed because I found myself mothering everyone!

I found that I just couldn’t help it! I kept wiping the (amazing) folding camping table that Paul and Amy brought in their box of magical camping equipment. I kept tidying everything up before bed. I had not one, but 2 showers in less than 12 hours. I worried constantly about the fact that we were making too much noise, or the boys were kicking the ball too hard, and I generally made myself worried and stressed over nothing.

I did have a brilliant time, but I just wish now that I had relaxed more, got into the spirit of things a bit more, worried less, stressed less, and just chilled the hell out!

So now, we’ve all decided that next time, it’s not going to be in a wet, miserable, curfewed field.
We’re taking it a step further, and we’re all going to get on a plane, and hire out a villa somewhere hot and lovely, somewhere private and secluded, and somewhere where all I will need to worry about is whether or not I’ve remembered my suncream, and I absolutely can’t wait! Roll on next year homeys!

Everyone’s a winner!

Just a quick post tonight, as I am busy being incredibly sad and playing Bingo Night Live. What is it with that programme? It’s addictive! Seriously, I am obsessed with the fact that I could win a grand, and not have to pay a penny to do so!

Anyway, talking of winning things, last night I got a text from my “friend” Krista. You’ll realise the significance of the inverted commas in a moment.
The message read like this:
“You’re not gonna believe this…. I’ve just won a holiday to Greece on Radio 1! I get £2000 in spending money, and I’m allowed to take 5 mates with me! I know it’s short notice, but if you’re free from 25th September until 2nd October, would you be able to put my bin out for me?”

Talk about bringing me RIIIIIIIIGHHHT up and then dropping me RIIIIIIIIGGHHTT down again! I was distraught! I have seen a message similar to this several years ago, but had completely forgotten all about it, but I honestly totally believed that she had won this holiday! Haha!

So tomorrow I will be seeing Krista for the first time in a few weeks (we’re all going camping! Yay!), so she will be getting a piece of my mind!
Let’s hope I win LOADS of money on Bingo Night Live so that I can wind her up with that.

It’ll never happen, but you just never know.